EdgehillHerbFarm.Blog,  Griefstricken,  WidowStyle

Stating the Obvious: Public Melt-Downs are Embarrassing.

Stating the obvious: Public melt-downs are embarrassing.

Four and one half almost 5 years after my husband’s passing seems like a good enough chunk of (time) change to not have widow’s melt-downs in public any longer, but I’m here to tell you – it’s not enough time for me!

Because of the business of being a widow, and by that I mean, the hoopla one must go through with every financial & governmental entity you were once clients with as a couple, I have, yet again, had to present my hubby’s death certificate to a company and get him removed from a bill so that I can access the bill online as me and not as us.

It actually happened twice this month, once with Wells Fargo Bank and once with the Social Security Administration.

It has happened so much in the last few years that I have a briefcase with death certificates that I carry around to important meetings in the event I need to prove I’m a widow.

Frankly, I think the tears in public should be enough proof but, *big sigh*, no.

In the case of Social Security I also had to prove that I’m me, alive and well, and that we were really married, so my death certificate briefcase also has my birth certificate and our wedding certificate.

Because I take care of my mother’s finances and she’s a widow, I also carry my father’s death certificate, her birth certificate and their marriage certificate because I’ve had to do this on her behalf as her caretaker.

Just when I think I’m good, that I’m not going to crumble under the load of widowhood, I get a reality check like public tears at the DMV.

And a Kleenex . . .

. . . from whoever is needing to see the docs in my briefcase.

Did I mention I took my death certificate briefcase to the DMV to get my Real ID – just-in-case! I did not need the death certificates but my birth certificate came in handy . . .

Everyone is very kind and understanding. That’s not the problem. I am. I want to be stronger than the tears, and, as yet, I’m not. I want to be better at being business-like with the business of life than I have been so far.

I am sure the business of widowhood is not over yet, so I’m keeping the briefcase ready. But I’m hoping to retire the public melt-downs from here on out!

Wish me luck!

I found this photo of me gazing out a car window in 2008 in Australia on my husband’s computer after he passed away in 2014. I seem pensive. This isn’t a public melt-down, thank goodness there are no photos that I’m aware of of any of those, but since non-smiling photos of me are rare, this will have to do.

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