My hubby passed away on September 24th 2014 and in a couple days that will have been one year ago. The sadness, pain, shortness of breath, numbness and exhaustion I feel today can’t be avoided. Believe me, if I could avoid it, I would. I can’t. So, like a swimmer in the cresting waves of the ocean, I am taking a deep breath in order to have some air as I’m pounded in the heavy surf of grief. I am gazing intently at these photos of when we were well, when we were happy, so as to see them in my minds eye as the world goes dark with oppressive sadnesses. I say sadnesses because the day after my husband died, on the 25th, my 12 year old best friend of a magnificent collie dog, Windsor, died. I felt at the time and I still feel like the universe heaped burning coals on my searing hot pain.
So I breathe in these photos in order to prepare for the inevitable tsunami of sorrow that is coming. It’s already brewing, I feel it- in ever building nausea, tightening of my chest, inability to breathe and uncontrollable tears.
This is what I’m using to get me through. This and prayer.
6 thoughts on “No hiding from grief”
Grieve, sweet Karen, but not without Hope… “And now, dear brothers and sisters, we want you to know what will happen to the believers who have died so you will not grieve like people who have no hope. For since we believe that Jesus died and was raised to life again, we also believe that when Jesus returns, God will bring back with Him the believers who have died.” 1 Thess 4:13-14. Father God, please wrap your loving arms around Karen and comfort her soul this month. Breathe into her body Your breath of life and renew her spirit with Hope. Thank you Father God that You understand her grief completely and Your faithful Love will never leave her alone! Touch her with healing hands in Jesus’ powerful name, Amen.
Amen. And thank you.
Yes, magnificent dog. Also, magnificent man. And magnificent Karen. This is such a beautiful tribute, and you are not crying alone, trust me. Keep writing, please.
Funny thing, I write for you. Thank you.
So many times we don’t give ourselves the time it takes to grieve. I love the pictures you share Alston with your hearts tears. I find myself grieving with you. Hugs Dear One.
That is very kind. Thank you!