Griefstricken,  WidowStyle

Day 30 of 30 in my #england30in30 series on Instagram

September 2, 2019 /

It’s too bittersweet to post the first picture seen here on my 30th wedding anniversary I think. At least on Instagram et al, in my #england30in30 series that is already tugging at the heartstrings of total strangers on social media and I don’t want to completely slay them with heartbreak. I want to be considerate of their feelings even though we’ve never met. They are, my followers, along with my long-suffering family and friends, supreme good sports for playing along with my penchant for posting series’ in general and this one is no exception. For the past 30 days I have been posting pictures of us, just my late husband and me, on social media, one (or two . . .) every day, in no particular order, to celebrate our 30th wedding anniversary which is today. I’ve had more than 30 days to think about what photo I would post last in this series, actually, it’s more like 1830 days to think about it, but I can’t count, so don’t go by my math. If you are reading this, no matter when, and are curious, head over to my Instagram @edgehillherbfarm and look for the photo or photos posted on September 2nd, 2019 to see what/which photo/s I end up posting, it isn’t any of these.

This is well and truly the very last picture of my husband and me, taken in January 2015. We, his family and I, spread his ashes at a sacred family spot, Big Tree, NSW, Australia and you can see the faint grey-white circle on the ground, those are his ashes, enveloping me and the tree in one last hug, before I head back home to America to start my new life as a widow, leaving him in peace a world away.
This is our best day ever, October 11, 2008 of our 25 years together, and that’s saying a lot if the other 29.3 photos in the #england30in30 anniversary series on Instagram can be believed. His family and I returned him to this place to Rest Forever In Peace in January 2015, a little over 6 years after this day. Big Tree, NSW, Australia.
Man oh man, that is a big tree.
No headstone, just his work badge to mark the spot evermore.
As soon as I publish this blog and post my evening Insta pics I am pouring the whiskey into two small glasses and toasting us, before drinking both. It’s my anniversary tradition as a widow.

Happy Anniversary to us!

And with this, along with my evening IG post, I conclude my 30 days of 30 pictures of us. It’s been a balm to see us so happy over the years in spite of real hardship and struggle. I loved him and he loved me. We overcame much together to celebrate 25 years before he passed away and that still stands at the 30 year mark. That’s what I know. It took five years to know it. And with that I’ll carry on my tradition of pouring two (small) glasses of whiskey and raising them both to heaven in a toast to our life together before drinking them both.

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